Thursday, July 24, 2008

An Old Favorite


Looking through old photos on my computer tonight I came across this one.

I love it.

I love it because it was taken shortly after we were married. I love it because neither one of us is looking at the camera. I love it because we look so young. I love it because we look so happy. I love it because there aren't a lot of pictures with just him and me. I love it because it is a very real moment. I love it because of the way I am looking at him.

Love, love, love it.
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Feelings without Words

The first time I saw this photo, I felt my heart drop and my stomach tied in knots. I wasn't sure why exactly, until later when I found out where and when it was taken. Then it made sense. Intuition is weird.

There is not much I can say about the deployment right now. Its still difficult, its still lonely. But it has evolved beyond those things, to the point where there aren't really words for how it feels. The mixture of pride and fear, love and loneliness, the often physically painful anxiety tempered only by the calm reassurance of his voice. I am awed and amazed by the strength, integrity, and bravery of my husband and the men serving with him, while being equally terrified and angry at the circumstances which call them to action. Amid the conflicting emotions I often find myself moved to tears, but still never completely sure why I am crying.

And if any one else wants to remind me that "Hey, things sure are heating up in Afghanistan," I would like to remind them: I. Already. Know.