Wednesday, January 09, 2008
This is probably the most recent picture of my sister and myself together. The sad thing about that is, this was Christmas 2004. And since this is simple math, I can do it. Thats 3 years ago.
How can it have been that long?
I miss my sister.
The thing about Shannon is....well, shes awesome. Shes smart and pretty, and fun to be around. She has lots of friends, and a really cool boyfriend, and I am sure she has a totally rad apartment, but I've never seen it. She always had fun games to play with the boys when she came to visit. We didn't talk on the phone all the time or anything, but she called me pretty frequently for advice, to share a story, or just to say hi. And I did the same.
Then three years ago, it all stopped. Rather suddenly. I made a decision she didn't agree with, I hurt her feelings by not telling her about it ahead of time, and she got so mad she said she never wanted to speak to me again.
I guess I didn't think she really meant it.
I guess I thought that old "Time heals everything" or whatever, would be true. That eventually she would forgive me. Because, hey, we're sisters. Right? Isn't that what sisters are for? Hadn't we been through worse? Wouldn't she be able to see, once everything calmed down, that nothing had to change between us? That I was still the same? The same sister who defended her as a little kid, who shared a room with her till we were practically teenagers, who never fought with her or called her names, who was always glad to help her out, share my things, and have her around. Who she could call crying from New Zealand and be comforted. Who she could ask for advice about boys. Who was always, ALWAYS proud of her.
I still am.
I hear about things going on with her through my parents, and I wish that I was hearing it from her. I hope that someday she will call me. That she will remember the good things, instead of focusing on this one thing that upset her. Big sisters aren't perfect, but I was a pretty darn good one. And I still could be, if she would let me.
I love ya, Shannon.