So, It turns out that the more I try to be "distracted" from my new reality the more in my face it becomes. The more I try not to think about it, the more I think about it. The only exception to this so far has been a 2 hour time period where I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe as I watched "The Birdcage". I completely forgot to be sad or stressed or lonely, and it was awesome.
On the other hand I realized today that not even a week has passed. How is that even possible? Its been like at LEAST 2 months in my mind! Come on time, catch up!!
Today someone made me feel guilty. A complete stranger no less. Its weird how people can say things when they "mean well" that can have to complete opposite effect of what they were intending. For instance, I believe this man was trying to comfort me, to make me feel better, to give me so advice he obviously thought I needed. The thing is, I don't recall asking for his advice. I don't want to feel guilty for wanting to talk to my husband, but here this person is going to tell me that talking to my husband may actually HARM him by causing him to be too "distracted" to do his job. That I should leave him alone and "let him focus so he can come home safe". The more I think about it the more angry it makes me. So maybe I will try and stop thinking about it.